its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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