Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize