I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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