i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
