there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Come see our sink grown plant.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I deserve this hangover.
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