You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
my liver is dry heaving
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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