don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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