I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
