hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
