He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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