I'm lost and stupid without you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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