i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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