Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
