Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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