The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
