So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
