I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
