Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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