So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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