he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
