We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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