He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
