i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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