you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
