I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
