wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
