so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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