I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
