Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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