Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
