I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
