And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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