The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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