So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
