So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
