I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
