I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
