That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
