At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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