So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
