very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
