you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
