we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
