trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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