he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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