Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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