I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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