Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
