so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
