i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
