HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just want to make out with him forever
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
