I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
