Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
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My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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