I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
