Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
