from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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