He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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