Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
