In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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