I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
