I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
