Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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