he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
