the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
