There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
