while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
