I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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