Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
