This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
